Deal with the past for a better relationship now

Want a happy fulfilling relationship but get stuck in the past? Your internal world of thoughts and feelings will influence how you show up in your daily life. If you don’t want the revolving pattern of dredging up the past into your current relationship, then it’s time to work on what’s really going on within yourself.

Your relationship is a reflection of you
Whatever relationship you’re in, be it with your partner, friend, family member, work college, it’s all a reflection of who you are. How you respond to yourself, others and to situations is the only control you have, this stems from your beliefs, past experiences and behaviours of self-protection. If your inner world is filled with past hurts, failed attempts at finding or keeping love, then the way you behave with your partner can show up in different ways, like get easily triggered by:
– certain words or a certain tone of voice
– be sensitive to abrupt actions 
– doubtful or suspicious of receiving kindness 
– pleasing to keep the peace but you’re unhappy inside
– avoid conversations on confronting topics to avoid an argument
Do you identify of any of these? If yes, then there may be some unresolved issues for you.

Unresolved past issues
Past issues that have not be dealt with, talked about or validated, can have a painful undertone theme to your relationship and can show up like:- feeling bad about the last unresolved argument- feeling hurt and not understood- moments of anger outbursts- past arguments from years ago get bought up – stressful reactions to juggling every day life stuff- sense of isolation and emotional disconnection

Heal and repair
If you’re aware of how your unresolved issues are affecting your relationship, then maybe you’re ready to explore and work on those areas within counselling sessions. It’s understandable to deny that nothing is wrong, it can be confronting to see your truth for what it is.  With a counsellor that you feel safe and comfortable with, you can gain a deeper awareness of your own triggers and learn useful tools to make empowering changes within yourself and your relationship. Having a counsellor who can witness you express your truth and facilitate a meaningful conversation with, can be the first step towards healing and repairing your inner conflicts and relationship.

Linda Kelly offers counselling for those who seek to understand their past patterns, their longings and how to better show up for themselves and within their relationship.

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