Couples Coaching is a supportive and empowering approach to help couples progress through their challenges, gain clarity, improve communication, deepen intimacy, strengthen their relationship and maintain it.
As a Relationship Coach and Counsellor, I understand how important it is for couples to feel comfortable with me in their sessions. I get them, I hear them. Couples will often hear me say ‘I’m on your relationship side’.
Here are 10 benefits I see from couples on their Couples Coaching journey with me:
1. Couples gain deeper understanding on their relationship dynamic.
Couples gain deeper insights of how their relationship functions through looking at their communication style, patterns, behaviours, emotional attachments and love languages. Couples gain a further view into their relationship. In Individual counselling sessions, partners can explore and rediscover parts of their ‘happy self’ they may have turned away from for various reasons or possibly out of obligation. Couples as partners, learn more about their relationship and how they show up as individuals in their relationship.
2. Couples gain an unbiased perspectives (outside their family and friends).
Couples can gain different perspectives when they work with a professional therapist. Sometimes couples may find themselves being influenced by what their friends and family say and this can either work for, or against them. As a Relationship Coach and Counsellor, I’m impartial – this allows a Couples to gain different viewpoints they haven’t been aware of before, sometimes it’s those ‘aahhaa’ moments gives them clarity of how to progress forward in their relationship.
3. Sessions provide a neutral space for couples
Often couples come to therapy because they just can’t seem to handle those confronting talks in their own home without it escalating out of control or walking away from it. By providing couples with a location in my counselling environment, gives them a neutral ground to explore their issues. A space where they are guided within a safe environment, to learn how to communicate safely and express their concerns so they both feel heard, understood and validated. The couple can then bring these newly formed communication skills into their own world outside of the therapy room, so they’re more equipped and self-regulated to handle difficult conversations on their own.
4. Couples begin to see each other’s perspectives
Couples are two individuals, so naturally they’re going to have differences of opinions and preferences, that’s normal. The therapy sessions allows a couple to further understand their partner’s viewpoint and where they are coming from. As their Relationship Coach and Counsellor, I guide them to objectively look at both sides of their perspectives, to help avoid miscommunication and begin to really understand the cause of their friction, for both now and in the future.
Sometimes it’s the unsaid expectations or assumptions that lead couples to have misunderstandings of situations, so they interpret things differently. By each partner learning to listen and understand one another’s viewpoint can strengthen the flow of empathy between them and they may even learn something new about their partner.
5. Couples improve their communication skills
Couples coaching can help improve communication skills by learning ways to express themselves, both verbally and non-verbally, to strengthen the way they get their message across to their partner. By using tools like using certain listening and validating techniques and using certain language, will allow each partner to feel heard, understood and acknowledged.
6. Couples work through their stuck points
As Couples learn to communicate in healthier ways of listening, understanding and accepting each other’s viewpoints as differently to their own, they can begin to resolve their issues that keep them stuck in a repeated pattern. Partners will begin to see their default responses to conflict like: being highly anxious, or defensive or dismissive or avoidant or being compliant to keep the peace. They begin to understand that their defensive armour responses is only masking something deeper they may not be saying. By couples learning more about their emotional attachment styles, they can learn how to help each other with their stuck points. For example, if one partner has an anxious attachment and the other has an avoidant attachment, they both learn how to connect without fear of being abandoned emotionally and learn to tune into their own needs and that of their partner.
Generally, couples desire a more meaningful and deeper connection with their partner, possibly to: feel wanted, to feel like a priority, to have alone time together, to feel that sexual excitement again, to be hugged tenderly and hear words of comfort and the list goes on. Couples learn to identify their real underlying issues and move towards resolution and comforting each other.
7. Couple learn connecting and coping skills
No relationship is perfect and it takes continual effort by both partners to make it work. By couples learning strategic coping skills, provides them with a safety net to fall back on in challenging times. Language and techniques that allows them to reflect and regulate how to deal with conflict, stress, anger, sadness and remain safely connected in the conversation.
8. Couples can begin to nurture their trust and keep it consistent
Trust is something that is felt and not seen. Repairing trust when it’s been fractured from lack of honesty, infidelity, addictions or for a range of other reasons, can be a long journey back to a place where both partners feel secure enough to open up. My counselling environment offers couples a safe place to explore how the trust was broken, what the underlying causes were and rediscover new healthy boundaries so partners can begin to re-new the foundation of their relationship.
For the partner who has felt their trust has been betrayed, they need time until they can begin to feel a sense of acceptance around what happened and know they have the right to not agree with it. To accept it but not to like, is more realistic to achieve to many as opposed to the pressure to forgive, although this can happen later on. In Couples Coaching, they can learn tools to move through re-building trust by establishing plans that demonstrate consistency and full transparency of each partners’ actions. Trust is built up over time – being full honest, consistent and placing your partner as a priority is key to strengthening trust.
9. Couples deepen their intimacy and closeness
Couples counselling can explore areas where partners may feel like the spark and excitement to be with one another sexually has dimmed. In sessions, couples can express their desires and needs towards deepening their sexual intimacy. Couples learn to strengthen the foundation of their emotional closeness first, to allow their intimacy to flow more naturally and in tune with each other.
10. Couples gain personal self-awareness and personal growth
Inevitably, in Couples and Individual sessions, both partners will deepen their self-awareness and gain personal growth from the experience. Partners gain more of an understanding around their needs, values and desires – they learn more about themselves and how they show up in their relationship and in other areas of their lives.
Book your Couples session with Linda
My approach of Relationship Coaching includes working with each partner in at least one Individual Counselling session in between their Couples sessions, so it provides a well-rounded support in helping you both to build a solid relationship and maintain your sense of self-identity.
As a Couple, if you’re ready to deepen your relationship, click here to book in your Couples session with Linda Kelly.